Ding-A-Ling
by Mega DMX
Summary: Lincoln wins an unwanted prize in the fast food contest.


**Here it is people my second fanfiction of Loud House, enjoy. If you read the story, you probably be familiar on the plot.**

* * *

Lincoln, Lucy, Lori, Lana, and Lisa walk out of a new fast food restaurant "Ding-A-Ling Delicious", they were struggling caring a giant size soda to outside as Lola walks out without cracking a sweat.

 **Lola:** Oh man what work.

 **Lincoln:** Dang it, Lola! Why did you have to order a supersized?

 **Lola:** Uh, hello? ? Hydration is essential. [Slurp] Ahh. Sooo good. [Slurp] And I need 85 [slurping] Gallons of soda per day, and plus [slurp] [slurp] you'll get a free prize. All you have to do is rip it, and win it.

 **Lana:** Really? [Rips the bottom of her soda].

 **Lucy:** Well.

 **Lana:** I got a coupon to get a free meal! All right! Lucy what did you get?

 **Lucy:** [Rips the bottom of her soda] I got a coupon to get a free meal too.

 **Lana:** You don't sound excited.

 **Lucy:** [emotionless] Of course I'm excited. Didn't you hear the tone of my voice?

 **Lana:** Uh…Lola, what you get?

Lola tip down the supersized cup and used all her strength to rip the bottom of her soda.

 **Lola:** I got a coupon to get a free meal! Looks like this princess have just earned another victory.

 **Lori:** You're turn, Lincoln. What did you get?

 **Lincoln:** [[ripping the bottom of his soda]] Uh " tonight you will have your Ding-A-Ling ripped off (confused for a moment there) am I reading this right?"

 **Lisa:** (taking a closer look)" tonight you will have your Ding-A-Ling ripped off" (finished) nope it seems perfectly written but still makes no sense"

 **Lori:** That seems rather disturbing maybe we need to take this to management?"

 **Lana** : Can't you read!? He's the guy that does the deed"

 **Lola:** Where does it say that?

 **Lana:** You have to read between the line!

* * *

Later on, The Louds return home to watch a TV commercial.

 **Guy in TV:** _Just grab the bottom of the cup, rip it, and win._ _Prizes include a new car or a discount on free meals. At Ding-a-ling, it's Ding-A-Ling Delicious… Somecustomersmaygettheirding-a-lingsrippedoff._

 **Lincoln:** Right there, right there. Did you hear that?

 **Leni:** Oh, yeah. The free meal they're serving.

 **Lincoln:** No, no, no, no, no. The-the-the-the la-the last part, the low, fast part. Rewind. Go back.

 **Lori:** Lincoln, you do remember that our DVR isn't working right?

 **Lincoln:** [facepalmed] Right.

 **Luan:** Don't worry, guys. I know someone could help. Be right back.

Luan rush upstairs. Everyone waited for her in a long awkward pause. After a long wait, Luan came back with Mr. Coconuts.

 **Luan:** [She looks at Mr. Coconuts] Hey, Mr. Coconuts. What did that guy in TV say?

 **Mr. Coconuts: [** Luan's voice] Sure, Luan. Now, listen up you little 'Ding-A-Lings' because I ain't repeating myself. Just grab the bottom of the cup, rip it, and win. Prizes include a new car or a discount on free meals. At Ding-a-ling, it's Ding-A-Ling Delicious… Somecustomersmaygettheirding-a-lingsrippedoff.

 **Lincoln:** I knew he said that! I knew he said that!

 **Luna:** Don't be so paranoid little dude. No one is going take your ding-a-ling.

 **Lola:** Can we stop saying ding-a-ling. It's getting weird.

Suddenly, they hear a honking noise as a van park in front of their home. Lisa look through the window and sees two humanoid rice exited out of the van.

 **Lisa:** Lincoln. Hide.

 **Lincoln:** Who is it?

Two men knocking on the front the door.

 **Lisa:** I don't know. But they got sharp hooks, and a necklace made from bunch of male genitals.

 **Lana:** What you can say ding-a-ling.

 **Lisa:** That's way immature.

 **Lincoln:** Okay, just to be safe. I'll be in the vent. [He ran upstairs].

Lori open the front door.

 **Lori:** Let me guess. You two are from Ding-A-Ling Delicious.

 **Rice Mascot:** Yes, we are. [walks in] So, who's gonna get their ding-a-ling ripped off tonight? [smash the TV]

 **Luna:** Dude not the TV!

 **Leni:** Well he's like so not here.

 **Rice Mascot:** Who's not here?

 **Leni:** Lincoln, the boy who happens to not be my brother.

 **Rice Mascot** : So someone won.

 **Lori** : I don't even know what you're talking about. Nobody won anything here.

 **Rice Mascot:** Mind if I look around. [Crash]

 **Lori:** Yes, I do mind

Rice Mascot search through whole house. From living room, to kitchen and then upstairs. In the vents, Lincoln stomach growled, he tries to hold it in but he couldn't so let out a big fart for Rice Mascot to hear.

 **Rice Mascot:** What was that?

 **Rice Mascot #2:** It's coming from the vent.

 **Lucy:** [pops behind them] That was me.

Rice Mascot got jumpscare from Lucy and then they rush back down.

 **Luna:** Dude, look. You're wasting your time because no one won that.

 **Rice Mascot:** Oh. Well, that's not what he said.

 **Rice Mascot:** [to Leni] Who won it doll?

 **Rice Mascot #2:** 'Cause someone's ding-a-ling is comin' with me tonight!

 **Lola** : Arcade, and SHUT UP!

 **Lori** : Lola!

 **Lola:** I'M TRYING TO TAKE MY BEAUTY NAP; NOW WILL YOU GET OUTTA HERE?!

 **Lori:** (opens door for Rice Mascots as they leave) Goodbye!

Lori slam the door close.

 **Lori:** Okay, Lincoln. You can come out of the vents now.

 **Lincoln:** [He Did so] Are they gone?

 **Lori:** Yeah, for now. But they won't stop until they'll get your ding-a-ling.

 **Leni:** Should we like call the cops or something?

 **Lisa:** That would have been smart idea, except that the cops had stop taking our call ever since Luan pull a prank call.

 **Luan:** I said I was sorry.

 **Lisa:** Apparently, Lincoln, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract. It enables them to rip off your penis.

 **Lincoln:** Oh no.

 **Lisa:** Yeah. And there's really nothing I can do about it.

 **Lincoln:** Great, just great. How the heck do we get out of this, Lisa?"

 **Lisa:** I have an idea, but it's not good.

* * *

 **Rice Mascot:** [cell phone ringing] Hello?

 **Man in the phone:** Did you get the dick yet? We're working on it, Mr. Ding-A-Ling

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling:** Finally, tonight I will have enough. Ding-A-Lings to complete the Ding-A-Lingship and return to Ding-A-Ling planet.

 **Rice Mascot:** Yes, Mr. Ding-A-Ling.

* * *

 ***At Lisa's Room***

 **Lisa:** Lincoln, you can get up now. We're done here.

 **Lincoln:** [Groaning and moaning as he wakes]

 **Lisa:** You feeling okay, Lincoln. Or should I say…Linka.

Lincoln look at himself in the mirror and see that he is now 100% girl.

 **Linocln:** Yeah. You're right. This was a, uh, very bad idea **.**

 **Lucy:** [Blushes] Wow, Lincoln. You look great as a girl. Please, excuse me. [she heads upstairs].

 **Lincoln:** O-Kay. As much as I don't like this idea, but it's the only way to lay low. Good thing you have some sort of gender ray gun to change my gender.

 **Lisa:** What gender ray?

 **Lincoln:** You know. The gender ray you built to change me, right?

 **Lisa:** Well-see-heh-uh, I didn't. I went on a different approach.

 **Lincoln:** What do you mean by "different approach"?

 **Lisa:** Well, it's pretty simple really. I removed your ding-a-ling so no one will have no need to remove it.

 **Lincoln:** Is that why my crotch is bleeding.

 **Lisa:** Yeah.

 **Lincoln:** You could have invited a gender gun to use it on me, but instead you went that route.

 **Lisa:** Yeah.

 **Lincoln:** And you know mom and dad are going to be furious out you, right.

 **Lisa:** Yeah.

 **Lana:** [look outside] Hey, Lincoln. Isn't that you're ding-a-ling in the trash can?

 **Lincoln:** What?! How did it end up in the trash?!

The Rice Mascot grab his member and drove off.

 **Lincoln:** No! They took it!

 **Lisa:** Hang on, hang on, hang on. I have a better plan. Luan, Lori, Leni we're going for a short walk.

* * *

*Outside the Ding-A-Ling Tower*

 **Leni:** Thatwas a really long short walk, Lisa.

 **Lisa:** Lincoln's genitals in that strange looking building. Weird, where are guards?

 **Luan:** You don't think they're…'Dicking' around in there, do you? [She snickered].

 **Lori:** Woah, Luan!

 **Luan:** What?

 **Lori:** We don't say that word, we say 'Ding-A-Ling'!

 **Luan:** Fine.

 **Leni:** Hey, I just realized something.

 **Lori:** That's at first.

 **Leni:** Mr. Ding-A-Ling reminds me of a character that we watch.

 **Lori:** [cover her mouth] W-w-what are you talking about, Leni? He's different from whatever you're trying to refer. [whispered] Keep your mouth shut, you want us to get a lawsuit.

 **Lisa:** Let's just get in already.

* * *

*Inside the building*

 **Mr.** **Ding-A-Ling:** Probably needs a couple more dick rotors... Maybe a dick wheel or two.

 **Rice Mascot:** Yes, Mr. Ding-A-Ling.

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling:** And, uuhhh, do we have to fill it up with some dicks.

 **Rice Mascot:** Yes, we gotta full tank of dicks!

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling** : Full tank, good, good, good. Wall to wall dick carpeting?

 **Rice Mascot:** Yes, you've mentioned that Mr. Ding-A-Ling.

 **Luan:** Dear lord. Everywhere I turn, it's dicks!

 **Lori:** Luan, I told you not to say that word.

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling:** Intruders! Stop them!

 **Rice Mascot:** Close the Ding-A-Ling gate!

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling:** What are you doing touching my Mr. Ding-A-Ling?

 **Lisa:** You can't just go running around ripping off others people's Ding-A-Ling, to make a giant Ding-A-Ling. Great, now I'm saying it.

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling** : I have an advance degree in ding-nology!

 **Lisa:** You're a mad man Ding-A-Ling this thing will never fly!

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling:** Then how else am I supposed to get home?

 **Lisa:** Call someone to pick you up.

 **Mr. Ding-A-Ling:** ...I will.

 **Luan:** So, which is Lincoln's?

 **Lisa:** It don't matter just pick one.

 **Luan:** You get it. I'm not touching those dicks.

 **Lori:** Luan!

* * *

*Back home*

 **Lisa** : [To Lincoln] Hopefully, the swelling in your chest should go down once the testosterone fully circulates around your body.

 **Lincoln:** What about my ding-a-ling?

 **Lisa:** I'll have to stitch tonight because mom and dad will be home soon.

 **Lola:** Hey, guys! Check it out! Somebody's suing Mr. Ding-A-Ling!

 **Newscaster:** _Ding-A-Ling could not be reached for comment as he left the press conference in a giant spaceship made of ding-a-lings, which crashed into a building made of ding-a-lings. Apparently, that's what the building was made of, if you've ever seen it from the interstate. Clearly, the act of a total Total, uh-you know, a total, Uh, Uh_ , _okay to be honest I've been a newscast for quite some time and I never seen anything like that._

 **Lana:** [Eating a hot dog] Well at least it's over.

 **Lori:** Lana, where did you get that hot dog?

 **Lana:** Oh, I found a perfectly good hot dog in the trash sitting right on top of two soggy walnuts. Mm. Still in the wrapper. I mean, there's white hair on them, but, hey, a little brush off. Delicious. Plus, the gum is blood flavored. Everyone shocked, surprise, and disgust.

 **Luan:** Boy, you really sure like your "hot dog" [She laughed]

 **Lori:** Dang it, Luan!

 **Luan:** What? I can't help that I'm a total "dick". [She laughed] Get it?

* * *

Thank you all for reading. More will come really soon. Until then, see ya.


End file.
